Tech Ramayan by Bill Gates

Once When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance to listen Ramayana from Atal Behari Vajpayee. After returning to US he wrote it in his personal Diary.

  • LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya,there ruled a PROCESSORnamed DOS-rat.
  • Once he EXECUTED a great sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an OUTPUT of four SUNsRAM,LSIman,BUG-rat and SED-rughana.
  • RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent MEMORY.

  • His brothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess ‘C‘ta.
  • 12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTAL RAM as his successor.
  • However, Queen CIE/CAE (Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat for a life saving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14 years.
  • At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE passed thru DOS-rat and, he collapsed,power-less.
  • RAM agreed to LOG INTO forest and ‘C‘ta insisted to LOGIN with him. LSI-man was also resolved onLOGGING IN with his brother.
  • The forest was the dwelling of SPARCnakha, the TRANSISTOR of RAW-van,PROCESSOR of LAN– ka.
  • Attracted by RAM‘s stature, she proposed that he marry her.
  • RAM, politely declined. Perceiving ‘C‘ta to be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to kill her. Weeping,SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where RAW-van, moved by RANSISTOR‘s plight,approached his uncle MAR-icha.
  • MAR-icha REPROGRAMED himself into the form of a golden stag and drew RAM deep into forest.
  • Finally, tired of chase, RAM shot the deer, who,with his last breath, cried out desperately for LSI-man inRAM‘s voice.
  • Fooled by this VIRTUAL RAM SOUND,’C‘ta urged LSI-man to his brother’s aid.
  • Catching the opportunity,RAW-van DELINKED C‘ta from her LIBRAR and changed her ROOT DIRECTORY toLAN-ka.


  • RAM and LSI-man started SEARCHING for the missing ‘C‘ta all over the forest.
  • They made friendship with the forest SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR SU-greev and his powerful co-processor Ha-NEUMAN.
  • SU-greev agreed to help RAM.SU-greev ordered his PROGRAMMERS to use powerful ‘SEARCH‘ techniques to FIND the missing ‘C’ta.
  • His ROGRAMMERS SEARCHED all around the INTER-NETworked forests. Many tried to ‘EXCITE’ the birds and animals not to forget the ‘WEBCRAWLERS‘ (Insects) and tried to ‘INFO SEEK’ something about ‘C‘ta.
  • Some of them even shouted ‘YA-HOO’ but they all ended up with ‘NOT FOUND MESSAGES’. Several other SEARCH techniques proved useless.Ha-NEUMAN devised a RISKy TECHNOLOGY and used it to cross the seas at anastonishing CLOCK SPEED.
  • Soon Ha-NEUMAN DOWNLOADED himself intoLAN-ka.After doing some local SEARCH, Ha-NEUMAN found ‘C’ta weeping under a TREE STRUCTURE.
  • Ha-NEUMAN used a LOGIN ID (ring) to identify himself to ‘C‘ta.
  • After DECRYPTING THE KEY, ‘C‘ta believed in him and asked him to send a ‘STATUS_OK’ MESSAGE to RAM. Meanwhile all the raakshasa BUGS around ‘C‘ta carptured Ha-NEUMAN and tried to DELETE him using pyro-techniques.
  • But Ha-NEUMAN managed to spread chaos by spreading the VIRUS ‘Fire’.Ha-NEUMAN happily pressed ESCAPE from LAN-ka and conveyed all the STATUS MESSAGES toRAM and SU-greev. RAW-wan decided to take the all powerful RAM head-on and prepared for the battle.One of the RAW-wan’sSUN(son) almost DELETED RAM & LSI-man with a powerful brahma-astra. But Ha-NEUMAN resorted to some ACTIVE-X gradients and REFORMATTED RAM and LSI-man.
  • RAM used the SOURCE CODE secrets of RAW-wan and once for all wiped out RAW-wan’s presense on earth.
  • After the battle, RAM got INSTALLED in I/O-dhya and spreaded his MICROSOFT WORKS and other USER FRIENDLY PROGRAMS to all USERS and every one lived happily ever after.

Jay Shree Ram ..


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Akash Padhiyar

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